Pretty Women in the streets
I took a much needed extended get away. I didn't actually accomplish what i had hoped, which was just to be somewhere else and forget about everything for awhile, but i tried my best. If only i could leave my mind behind - but my life experiences follow me, and with it the worries, tears, and stubbornness to survive i have come to live by.
I wont elaborate on my endless struggle to find peace within- but something happened while i was away that i wanted to share.
I was out driving with someone else one night, it was hot outside and it was early evening. We stopped at a red light and beside us walked an attractive woman, very tight, Saree - super high heels. She walked with a purpose, slowly and shaking what god had given her while she peered into each stopped car with a coy smile. My heart broke for her. I got a lump in my throat and thoughts went through my mind wishing her safety, sorrow for her circumstances that led her to walk that night, and wondering if she would consider taking a break and grabbing a bite to eat. It just hit a deep nerve to see her, and wonder who she was and what was her story. It was myself, looking at me standing there, trying to look brave. I never walked the streets but could feel what she felt.
Anyway, the person i was with simply looked at her and said "is that a f*&$#ing prostitute? Nasty...." And i didn't know what to say back. I know this is the response from the majority of people, and it is so sad that people judge each other like this. I thought of defending her, of rationalizing all the reasons she might be there, or getting mad - but then i might say too much, give too much away, and i couldn't risk that. So i simply said, "I don't know, maybe, its none of our business"
And they mumbled a few more nasty thoughts as we drove off. Whoever you were that night, and all the others out there along side her and in hotel rooms- I thought of you that night. I prayed for you to be safe and for your circumstances to change. I felt your hurt and fear like it was my own, and i wish i could change things. Not only for you but for the ignorant who judge other people without walking in their shoes, or even so much as considering what those shoes might have gone through.
Kamal Reddy in Bangalore
Hmmm...interesting. I don't see prostitutes much, but I don't think the word 'nasty' comes to mind. I sometimes look at them, or drug addicts, or homeless people and I think a little. We all were all babies once. Someone held us and cared for us. Then we take whatever path we take, sometimes willingly, sometimes unwillingly. Some people have mental illnesses and that's why they are homeless. Some people were abused as children and they turn to walking the streets. Then there arethose who are abused and turn into Millionaires! :) I mean there could be many scenarios or reasons as to why people end up where they are today. So like you said, you don't know unless you have walked in someone's shoes. But the thing is, no one cares to walk in your shoes or know your past. They won't read your life resume and say, "Oh now I get it!" They judge you based on what they see today :(
How many Prostitutes actually work on the streets? The ones I deal with are only online.
My heart goes out to you, , and to the ones who are undergoing what you have gone through. No, it is not pity (I know you don't need that) but it is compassion, the unconditional love for a fellow human being.
It certainly is harsh to judge people. At the same time (with no less compassion for women like you who are fighting with determination to keep life going), I think you too are at times harsh in judging your clients.
I am a married man with zero extra-marital excursions. She has strayed on 2-3 occasions within a short span of time but she has apologized and I have left it at that. Yes, it took me a while to get over it, but doing what she did in response was not an option I wanted to pursue (though I did consider it in anger). I travel a lot on business and I have had opportunities present themselves but my fidelity for her has always won over the temptation. I hope to God that it stays that way.
But I know some friends who do look for associations outside of marriage. At times, they have had it in the same suite as mine in hotels, with me staying away from that action in a different room of the same suite. I have seen escorts at close quarters. I have talked to them as my friends "get themselves together" after action. It is the plight of one such escort that got me searching for articles and led me to find your Site. As I had surmised, it isn't all fun and easy money. My best wishes and prayers, for all your wounds to heal; for you to gain freedom from mental torture; and for you to settle down in a life in which escorting will only be a distant memory.
Every coin has two sides though. I know the personal lives of my friends who have been clients of escorts. I know why many of them chose this extramarital company. From what I have seen, none of them think of their time with an escort as buying her body. They are human too and have missed out on warmth in life and are seeking it where there won't be an emotional aftermath. Everybody has a story.
I am not trying to justify their actions but I am just asking you to not judge them harshly. Just like you feel bad when someone calls an escort names, I do feel bad for the male kind when you call them names. I know some such men and they are gems among persons if you eliminate this small blemish. Just as your life pushed you to offer this service, their life has pushed them to use it. In an ideal world, both needs would vanish.
Lots of love and compassion,
Navaneethan (not my real name)
August 18, 2011
I have been reading your Site, i am an ex working girl, i can relate entirely. I have been escorting daily for the past 5 years on bangalore city, my life before escorting was very challenging in all areas,......family, jobs and relationships, im 30 yrs old now, no children, i left the business 3 months ago. I went to my mothers, locked myself in a bedroom for 3 months to come to terms with leaving the biz and to gain some sanity, i had a few hundred Rupees to pay direct debits, i decided my life was more important than debt and i would rather go to prison for not paying them than continue that life, it's been a slow emotional process over the past 3 months, i have put on weight from no excerise lol and look far from glamorous, but i have a long term plan. I went on a alot of dates with rich men immediately after leaving, in a vunerable state lol, i decided i would rather escort than be with someone i did not love or more importantely who had the skills to buy me, if some of the sugar daddy types tried harder like the skint men in being funny, talkative, listening taking a general interest and not being pushy for sex they would not need to flash the cash to buy someone on a permanent basis, the rich men i met drained me on a level i couldn't describe through typing, i would of rather escorted than date any of the men i met! I went to my doctors, thought to hell with it im confessing, i asked for counselling i start next week, 1 hour per week, looking forward to getting some life experience off my chest! i have made the decision to stay 100% single until i have regular job, one step and one day at a time, im applying for jobs at the moment, it has taken 3 months of doing absolutely nothing other than eating and watching tv, being locked away to get to this stage, i have no regrets in life, i did what i did to survive, until i decided i had to stop surviving and face the real world. I made escorting my life, it should of been a hobby in desperate times lol, when you don't work independentely you get sucked into the life. I hope by Deepavali to have a regular job, when i decide not be 100% single i shall hit the dating sites looking for normal guys wanting a relationship with regular jobs, as far away from the escort world as possible, men like that are out there and those are the types of men i want to be spending time with. I am currentely in the process of removing all traces of my secret life off line, not an easy process but one that i would like to be done. I write this for anyone who may find it uselful, there isn't much help for ex working girls, i quickely found this out, i learned i had to do it myself, i also learned i wanted to be ruthless in my own life but in safe ways, this is an honest account for anyone interested in how i independently left the buisiness without jumping into the arms of a pimp, client, s daddy or general loser, for the first time in over 5 years i have control of my life and my future. Good luck and god bless to all
Revathy not my real name of coarse
August 19, 2011 1:51 AM
Tantalizing Ambika said...
I haven't had a chance to view ur whole Site but I'm curious to know what u tell ur family and friends when asked ur occupation?
Me myself have been thinking and contemplating getting into the business purely BC I enjoy sex very much, even when it involves someone I may despise. I figure why not get paid for something that I do for free already. Lol the men can't tell that I am not attracted to them and so its sometimes a shocker when I say I wont be seeing them again. Anyway I've been trying to come up with my job that I want to say, hell I would say but everyone knows I can't dance.
August 19, 2011 8:34 PM
ahh this brought tears to my eyes... I'm "retiring" or should be retired I guess because I stopped working a couple of weeks ago. This is a lot harder than I had anticipated. I feel stupid because so many people warned me that it's a hard industry to leave, and I thought "meh, I'm stronger than that, and have goals and a plan". Sure enough I've been job hunting for over a month now. I've worked several square jobs and have a good resume for someone my age. I haven't gotten a single interview and I'm struggling so much internally right now about whether or not to go back. I have about 5 lacs INR left in my bank account, and it's slowly disappearing.
I told everyone who knew I was working that I quit, so it's hard to go back on that. Plus it's caused a lot of tension between myself and the guy I'm crazy about... how do you just quit? I'm finding it impossible to fight the temptation to go back and make money, but I was hating every minute of it in the final months of me working... so torn... wish there was a better way...
August 21, 2011 6:28 PM
I can imagine how hard it would be to be used to a certain amount of money and then can't find a job. I'm coming from nothing so minimal wage looks good right now. And I'm happy to report that I wont be pursuing the escort business :)
August 22, 2011 4:07 PM
I think it is possible for someone to accept her identity as a prostitute and not be bothered by anyone referring to them or (anyone else for that matter)as such.
August 23, 2011 12:06 PM
Working girls don't have time to think, ever, there thoughts are only immediate ones, there's no waiting for 5pm home time or end of shift, they don't dread mondays or the next day because there mind is too numb to feel dread, they leave work numb, do what they have to after work numb, then go back to work next day. NUMB.
August 24, 2011 3:05 PM
I am a working girl as well. Had retired for over 2 years and entered an affair with a client ( said I never would) that led to a civil case that is ongoing and my need to return to work.
I haven't read your site, but I will and very grateful that you are here. Escorting is seclusion, and right now it is simply nice to know someone out here is sharing.
I don't feel so alone.
Your Site is private due to the proceedings but I am writing and will be opening when I can, in the meantime... I am going to read.
August 30, 2011 12:13 PM
34 Babu male here, answering anonymous:
"you are putting women up on a pedestal and being an idiot."
I've always been shy around girls ever since I was a little kid. Thanks for calling me an idiot because of that.
"The longer you think that sex HAS to be an act of love you are going to start being even more socially awkward."
I've pondered these things many times.
I can't seperate sex and love. My heart needs to be into it, that's all there is to it.
It could partly be because I'm a wounded soul. But I think it is part of my nature too.
"View this as a professional business transaction to help you get over your obvious fear of women and to help you start building up the confidence to ask a girl out if you think this is beneath you."
How would this improve my confidence? As an example, when I was for an extended period in the hospital, I felt completely comfortable talking with female nurses and physical therapists because they are professional and treat me with respect. But that still didn't improve my confidence for instance when it came to interacting with other patients. I kept mostly to myself.